What is stress? It’s not very often that we take a step back to reflect on what this cliche word really means… and what it really is.
I’ve been feeling more stress than usual and I hate it. I committed to myself when starting at the beginning of this year GameOn Leadership that I would only continue doing it as long as it was fun. While it still is extremely fun, I’ve felt more pressure, which has been causing stress. There’s more decisions to make; fast-paced development taking place; and trickier situations to learn to deal with.
Recently I took a step back and really started to reflect on where this stress is coming from, and as I did I made some really cool observations. My stress seemed to be proportionate to the difference I perceive between where I am and where I expected myself to be at this moment.
You see, my vision of what would be in December was to have the beta version of our online system launched and being used by those who have been trained in the program, as well as having a few of the other phases of the backend system close to completion. In reality, we still haven’t officially launched the beta version and are yet to start further phases, and well as each day passes the difference in what I expected and what is continues to grow in distance, and thus the feeling of stress has increased.
What I’ve created in my head is an expectation of reality that isn’t aligned with the reality I’m in. Immediately, my mind is alarming me that ‘something is wrong’. Stress kicks in and I begin to worry and be distracted by negative thoughts. This is a battle I feel all entrepreneurs can relate with me on since as we build our ideas our visions for the future become so real in our heads, and our work ethic so intense, that it’s hard to not see the reality of our idea when we expect it to come alive.
What I’ve come to realize is this stress is doing me more of a dis-service than good. Truth be told, we have made incredible progress these past few months, which I’ve lost sight of, and worrying about what isn’t instead of focusing on what is, is preventing me from doing what I can right now to make what isn’t, is (if that tongue twister makes sense ).
So then, getting to my title of this post: The Secret Behind Stress. What is it?
It’s simple – it’s a gap between expectation and reality. How do we handle it? Simple – realize reality trumps expectations always. What isn’t right now just isn’t. there’s no point worrying about it because worrying about it doesn’t do anything about it. As a great quote I once read states:
“Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.”
So next time you hit a bout of stress ask yourself these questions.
- “What progress have I made in the past few days? weeks? months?”
- “What can I do (or do differently) right now to move faster towards my expectations?”
- “Where is worrying about what isn’t getting me? Is it worth it?”
All these questions will start to break down your expectations, allowing you to become closer aligned to reality. Comment if you have any other tips.
Ryan is a Leadership Coach, Speaker and Entrepreneur at GameOn Leadership.
